For as long as I can remember, when it came to relationships, I’ve always been “that guy.” I’m always “that guy” you see in the movies who falls in love with a girl but never says anything until it’s too late. Or “that guy” who’s in a relationship working his ass off never divulging his discontent with the girl, only hoping for the best. Or “that guy” that falls in love with the friend who’s always having problems with her terrible boyfriend but always offers advice that brings them together.
Not anymore. I’m finally just fed up with finishing last. I’ve met some nice, loving and just overall amazing girls in the past year and I’ve let them all go because of my stupid reservations. I always think, ah, she wouldn’t date someone like me, or she’s probably better off with him. I’ve been so suck into this notion that people judge me. That, if I tell her how I really feel about her, she will judge me. Now I’m starting to realize that, it’s my life damn it, if she wants to judge me, that’s her problem, but I can safely say that I know who I am and I the kind of person I can be. My label of “that guy” will have a totally different meaning this year. I’ll be “that guy” who’s not afraid to be himself, “that guy” who’s not afraid to be a little loving, or “that guy” who’s not afraid to express himself.
I know some girls are into the “bad boy” thing but that’s not an excuse for me to turn my life around and try to emulate that. I am who I am. I’ve done that “fake it till you make it” shit in the past and it’s gotten me nowhere. It’s about time to own up to my faults and my gifts and be comfortable with who I am so I can find someone who’s comfortable with me. The worst thing I could do for myself is to be someone I’m not, and be with someone who’s into that fake person…. it needs to stop.